Pets play a very special role in our lives, unlike that of any humans. If you’ve had the opportunity to bring a pet into your family, to experience unconditional love, you’ll know that this is truly a gift. Age creeps up on them very quickly, and our lives together are so short. But there are ways, whereby providing special comfort and care, you may be able to extend your pet’s life, sometimes by years! Let me share with you Tika’s two-part story and how we were blessed with an additional two years together.
[UPDATE: On the morning of May 28, 2021, my Tika crossed the Rainbow Bridge; it was time to share her with the Angels. We had such beautiful days and memories leading up to Tika’s departure. We have a very strong love and bond that can never be broken. My Angel will always be in the hearts of her Mommy and Daddy, guiding the way, until we meet again. You can find Tika’s Part Two story here.].
Tika’s Story
On January 3, 2021, Tika, my German Shepherd dog, celebrated her 14th birthday! I never thought she would still be with us today. Tika has had Degenerative Myelopathy for the past 2.5 years. Degenerative Myelopathy is a debilitating, progressive, non-painful and incurable disease of the spinal cord which leads to gradual paralysis in some older dogs; it is the Lou Gehrig’s (ALS) disease of dogs. Tika is fully paralyzed in her hind legs.
As a single woman with no human children, Tika is my everything; she is the centre of my life. I have a closer relationship and bond with her than any human being; and I imagine this will remain true for the rest of my life.
Caring for a paralyzed dog is challenging, but that’s what life is. We chose to take on the challenge. We committed ourselves to doing everything we could to provide Tika with all the comfort and care in the world for her remaining days, however many those may be. This determination has extended her life and our time together by two precious years.
Be sure to watch Tika’s 14th birthday video below! You’ll see that despite her old age and disability, she has still been able to enjoy a life full of love, attention, inclusion and interaction.
Now our days together are numbered and the end is near, very near. Soon we will be making the most heart wrenching decision of our lives. We will have to bring our most beloved friend in the entire world to the Rainbow Bridge, where we will have to surrender her.
Life with Degenerative Myelopathy
Tika has had Degenerative Myelopathy for the past 2.5 years. The disease progressed to the paralysis of Tika’s hind legs and resulting incontinence. This means she cannot walk, sit, or even adjust her own body to move from one side to the other. The incontinence means there is constant monitoring and cleaning; what used to be considered “accidents” are now considered the norm. Tika is completely dependent upon us.
While you may think this sounds miserable and depressing, you have to see Tika and witness her continued zest for life, her perseverance and desire to be included in everything. She is as attentive as ever and constantly on guard. Tika’s sight and hearing are still going strong. She enjoys playing with her ball, carrying her stick, eating mouthfuls of snow, going for car rides. She likes to tell stories, sing songs and bark at the birds and squirrels. She still has that special sparkle in her eyes.
With the exception of mobility and continence, Tika is still ALL THERE! This is what makes Degenerative Myelopathy (or “DM”) such a heart-wrenching disease. In the end, you are faced with having to make the ultimate decision for your pet, and it’s a real fine line when it comes down to determining the “when.” (See Part 2 for more on this).
Devoted and Committed Parents
As long as Tika is not in any pain and is still able to enjoy life, we committed ourselves to doing all that we could to make Tika’s remaining time with us as comfortable and happy as possible. This has not been easy and requires significant dedication and compassion.
Fortunately, for the past year, Tika’s human Dad and I have been able to give her nearly 24/7 care, always at her side. This was made possible due to a combination of factors, including COVID, work schedule, my year off from work and two very devoted parents. Remove any one of these factors, and Tika wouldn’t have been with us this long.
Early Days of Degenerative Myelopathy
It all began in December 2018 when we noticed Tika’s left hind paw “knuckling” (toes folding under) and dragging as she walked. She also began to stumble due to the loss of balance. Tika was losing feeling in her leg. Little raw sores formed on her hind paw as a result of rubbing against the ground; we went through countless types of boots to find the right kind that would work for her.
Knuckling causes the nails to wear down to the quick, which can be very painful for the pet. To prevent this from happening, we used silicone nail caps to protect the hind paw nails. You can get these at pet stores or order online. Add a bit of the adhesive glue to the inside of the cap, wiggle it onto the nail, hold in place for a minute, and then clip the end of the nail cap off so that it’s just a stub protecting the nail.
Mobility Aids for Degenerative Myelopathy
There are various mobility aids to assist your pet (and you!) at each stage of Degenerative Myelopathy, from early knuckling to full-blown loss of front and hind leg mobility. Visit here for more information.
A harness is definitely one of the first products you’ll want to purchase and there are all kinds out there! For awhile we used the Help’Em Up Hind Harness to get Tika from the house to the car, or to go for short walks. But after some months, we began using a ripped length of a bed sheet as a belly sling (for very short distances), as the hind harness got in the way when Tika had to pee. There are better slings out there (and more comfortable), but the bed sheet has been working fine.
Tika can only use her front legs while we lift up and support her hind legs (like a wheel barrow) as she walks. This is very tricky. Now in her final stretch, Tika is losing stability in her front legs causing her to stumble; I now use a Rogz Utility Explore Harness combined with the belly sling to provide the needed support and stability when moving about. I should have been using this much earlier, as it provides Tika with much more support and gives me the confidence that I’ll be able to lift her if she has a little tumble.
In April 2019, I learned about the Walkin’ Wheels wheelchair from a friend here in Yellowknife who had two dogs with wheelchairs – I never knew about this invention before! I was so fortunate to be able to bring Tika over and test out the wheelchair. It was such a heart warmer and immediate tearjerker to see my girl take to it immediately… she walked with ease, and smiled proudly as she said “look Mom! I can move around on my own!” I was immediately sold! We ordered the wheelchair right away (May 2019)! Don’t miss the video below to see Tika’s first steps and the good use she got out of her all-season ATV Walkin’ Wheels wheelchair! She’s such a trooper!
Walkin’ Wheels Wheelchair – A New Lease on Life
The Walkin’ Wheels wheelchair was a game changer. Tika’s spirit improved immediately once she was able to get out and about again! Instead of just short walks down the sidewalk with the hind harness, the wheelchair was like an all-terrain vehicle! It enabled Tika to traverse over trails, rocks and the sandpits, in the water, snow and on the ice! She was “able” to go almost anywhere (outdoors).
When your pet loses mobility of its hind legs, the wheelchair has stir-ups to hold up the legs. However, it is best to hold off from using the stirrups while your pet still has some ability to use their leg muscles. Tika didn’t use the stirrups until ten months in with the chair (March 2020); she started off with her left hind leg (most affected) in the stirrup, and then two months later, both legs were raised up.
The wheelchair gave Tika a new lease on life and gave us two additional years together, full of wonderful memories! If your pet is experiencing mobility challenges (or if you anticipate them), I absolutely recommend purchasing a wheelchair! You can find more information about the wheelchair here.
Preparation of House and Vehicle
- Depending upon the size of your pet and the type of home you live in, you may need to install ramps along your steps.
- If you have slippery floors, carpets/rugs will be necessary. We placed a bunch of mismatched rugs and carpets throughout the house, wherever Tika would need to walk (with her front legs).
- Place various comfortable dog beds (not too soft) in key locations throughout the home where they can see you and near a window whenever possible. They can watch the birds, squirrels, people and dogs pass by and still feel like they are on guard.
- Use a waterproof material underneath your pet’s blankets (we used picnic tablecloths).
- Have a regular supply of disposable mats on hand at all times, to place underneath the pet’s hind wherever you lay them down. We go through several daily.
- When Degenerative Myelopathy is advanced and the pet can’t move itself, prop up firm pillows against your pet’s back to provide some support.
- Use backseat protector/sling in vehicle not only to protect the vehicle but also to protect the pet from falling off the seat. During the more advanced stages of Degenerative Myelopathy, I put all of the back seats down and covered them all with a tarp and several blankets, creating a big bed for Tika!
- Purchase a small pet carpet cleaner. You’ll make good use of it!
- Regularly move your pet (day and night), for stretch and bathroom breaks, a change of scenery or to prevent pressure sores from developing.
Preparation of Self
Caring for a pet with Degenerative Myelopathy is not for the faint-hearted. I’ve never gone through anything in life that required so much devotion and commitment, putting my needs and interests aside for another’s. I will be very honest; this experience has been emotionally and physically draining, and Tika deserves all the care and attention in the world. Each and every day I’m reminded of what is happening and the decision we’ll soon have to face.
Emotional
The emotional toll is indescribable. Now and then, it creeps up on you and the tears just come streaming down; your heart aches with rawness and you feel helpless. It is heart-wrenching to see your fur baby unable to freely move around as they did when they were younger and able-bodied. I can’t imagine what it will feel like when “that time” has come.
It is important that you take care of your mental well-being during this very emotional time; be present and mindful of your feelings. Give yourself quiet time to unwind, contemplate and decompress. Slow things down and enjoy the present moment with your pet.
While each person will have their own experience, I can’t say enough about the importance of having compassionate friends and support available. In addition to a couple of nearby friends who regularly check in with me, I found such supportive connections through speciality facebook groups and instagram pages. This is where I’ve met a handful of new friends, whom I’ve never verbally spoken with, and they make up the bulk of my support system!
Physical
You need to be able to manage and handle the weight of your pet. In my adult life, I was never really into exercise and physical activity. But at the onset of DM, Tika was 85lbs and I knew I had to get stronger in order to help keep Tika alive (to assist with her mobility). Over the past 2+ years, I’ve become a regular at the gym (5-6 times/week) and working with a personal trainer for 16 months (weight lifting!). I am in the best physical shape of my life and this is all thanks to my girl. Tika has been the primary motivation behind my physical fitness transformation and I know she will continue to be my driving force even after she crosses the Rainbow Bridge. This will be part of her legacy – keeping her Mommy healthy and strong!
Financial
Like any disease, Degenerative Myelopathy comes with its financial costs. Tika’s wheelchair and extra attachments (skis and upgraded tires) cost approximately $850. Her basic monthly expenses (medications and food) are a minimum of $400.
On top of the regular monthly expenses, be prepared for other health issues that arise, which most often require vet visits and additional medications. Tika had some very expensive and long-recovery surgeries prior to the disease. She has been through a lot. We didn’t know about pet insurance when we got Tika, but if we could turn back time, we would have absolutely purchased it!
Providing Comfort for Your Senior or Paralyzed Pet
In addition to the tips mentioned above, there are plenty of things you can do with and for your senior or paralyzed pet to keep them comfortable and happy. Be sure to watch the heart warming video below! It gives meaning to the phrase “It’s a Dog’s Life“!
- WALKS AND CAR RIDES. Take your pet out on daily walks and/or drives. They need to move and get outdoors, even if it’s just to get some fresh air and a different view. Since Tika’s walks have lessened significantly, we take her for drives all the time! She can no longer sit up, so we fill the back seat with blankets, towels and cushions to create a comfortable raised bed that enables Tika to see out the windows. We like to think that driving by certain locations, such as her boyfriend Hogan’s house, or the sled dog kennels, this will give Tika something new and exciting to dream about!
- INTERACTION with people and animals. It is important that you get your pet out to see other people and animals, regardless of how difficult it may be. If your friends don’t like being around anymore, find new friends! Your pet wants and needs this interaction and engagement. It gives them a sense of newness and excitement (and it’s good for you too!).
- ENGAGED AND INVOLVED. Talk to your pet, look right into their eyes and ask them questions. They like to be engaged and paid attention to. Play games with them. Find toys (that won’t roll away) that you can hide treats in. Wrap up presents for them to unwrap. Make crafts together. Include your pet as much as you can; don’t leave them in a room by themselves.
- KEEP PET COOL AND HYDRATED. We make use of fans day and night, year-round (indoors and out!) and sometimes lay cool damp towels over Tika’s body. We give her water frequently, throughout the day and night. This all helps reduce Tika’s panting (and if your pet sleeps on your bed, these tips will help you get some sleep, as your bed won’t be shaking all the time!)
- MASSAGE. Massage your pet’s legs, shoulders, back. As the paralysis progresses, there is a loss of muscle in the legs and a build up of tension in the muscles that are doing all of the heavy lifting and work.
- MEDICATIONS AND FOOD: twice daily prescriptions: Deramaxx (anti-inflammatory), Gabapetin (pain relief), and Proin (urinary incontinence); and daily Glucosamine Chondrotin (for joints) – best to begin giving this to your adult dog before it becomes arthritic. For food, we fed Tika Orijen (Adult and then Senior) during her adult life, and now mix in Hill’s Prescription Diet K/D Kidney care. This is what worked for Tika; each dog and veterinarian is different. *Please seek professional advice for your own situation.*
Bathroom Breaks for A Paralyzed Pet
With Degenerative Myelopathy, the one task that probably takes the most effort and care is the bathroom break. Remember there are no more “accidents.” You cannot get mad at the pet; incontinence is (often) part of the disease. They can’t help it; but we humans can! (Note: our experience with the medication “Proin” greatly assisted with (female) urinary incontinence).
Unfortunately there isn’t a medication to help control fecal incontinence, so you must always be on the lookout and keep a disposable mat under the hind. Keep your pet on a consistent and healthy diet; introducing new foods may lead to an upset stomach and a very big mess. Tika had fecal incontinence for two years and we managed just fine. This is NOT a reason to put your pet down!
*To see how to get your pet into and out of the wheelchair and how to express the bladder, watch the video below.
With a paralyzed pet, gone are the days when all you have to do is open up the door and have your pet run outside to do their business. Throughout the day, we take Tika outside every couple of hours for a stretch and a bathroom break. Throughout the night, the alarm goes off every three hours. We get out of bed, turn on all the lights, dress ourselves warmly in boots and coat (winter!) and put Tika’s boots on. Then we carefully support her hind legs (held up in the air) as she walks with her front legs down the ramps outside. Since she can no longer stand or squat, we hold her in position and help express her bladder.
Once we’re back indoors, I lay Tika down on the floor (I’m often out of breath by this point) and give her a good cleaning with a soft warm towel (very important to keep the pet clean). Then she is lifted back up on the bed, and we’re usually good for another 3 hours or so until we’re at it all over again!
Preparing for Your Pet’s Departure
There are many things you can do to prepare for your pet’s departure; don’t wait until it’s too late. Think about how you would like to keep your beloved pet’s memory alive in your everyday life.
We made some crafts together, including a concrete garden mosaic, paw prints and imprints. I collected special stones from a trail we frequent and keep them in a big jar on my fireplace mantle. I’ve recorded sound clips of Tika’s her bark, snoring, and lapping water (which I may use for future ringtones!).
I collected some fur to be used in ornaments; I’ve created beautiful digital oil paintings of Tika that hang on my walls (*note: I also do commissioned work). And of course I’ve taken countless photos and videos of every possible thing that Tika does. (UPDATE: I also wear a special pendant every single day that contains a tiny amount of Tika’s ashes). These various mementoes will keep Tika’s spirit with me in my everyday life.
Lifelong Commitment
Making the decision to bring a pet into your family requires a huge commitment. You are committing to providing that animal with comfort, love and a good quality of life, for as long as it shall live; it is a long-term commitment. Of course there are extenuating life circumstances that may keep you from being able to care for your pet. Putting the pet down does not have to be the answer. Know that there are people out there who may have the ability and heart to care for your beloved pet as if it was their own.
Do you have the ability and commitment needed to tend to your pet’s needs, regardless of what happens? Is your house suitable for a disabled pet? Do you have the strength and ability to support your pet if/when they are unable to walk on their own? Are you prepared for your pet’s incontinence? Please think about all of these things carefully when considering bringing a a pet into your family. I could never imagine having to give up my girl to someone else because I wasn’t able to care for her. That would break my heart (and Tika’s).
Patience and Compassion
You CANNOT get mad at your pet for falling down, for being heavy to lift, for their incontinence or for your disrupted sleep. They are not happy with the situation either and they are very sensitive and receptive to your feelings. You must have patience and compassion and the ability to control your frustration. The disease is not their fault; it is what it is.
Disabilities do not to prevent your pet from having a good life, people do. Oftentimes when the going gets tough, it is the humans that give up and either surrender their faithful pet or put the pet down. I hope that Tika’s story shows you that when facing challenges, there are options that can improve and extend your pet’s life, sometimes for additional years.
The Time is Approaching
I know Tika has been holding out for us; 14.5 years is an incredible life for a German Shepherd! She gave us so much love and life together and we have been truly blessed. Tika is still all there (except for her mobility and continence). She watches our every move, talks to us when she wants attention. She is alert and alive in so many ways. But we see she is having a hard time and we don’t want her to go through pain.
Degenerative Myelopathy sucks. We know we have to let her go, we have to surrender. This is LOVE. I am so grateful for the extra two years we had together, and especially grateful for Tika’s Dad who put his own life on hold for Tika and stuck around for us.
We’ve made the heart breaking decision to set a date to bring our girl to the Rainbow Bridge. This is the first time I’m sharing this. The only positive thing about this is that we get a chance to plan out our final days together.
As I’m writing, Tika is looking at me and calling out to me with her elderly bark; tears are streaming down my face. (I paused the story and took her out for a cruise around town and a stop for ice cream! What a happy girl:). It’s time for me to complete this story and get it published so I can focus entirely on my girl. Time is more precious now than ever.
May 17, 2021
Please Help Spread Tika’s Story
This isn’t the typical story you’d find on my website but it is near and dear to my heart and I had to write it. This is part of Tika’s legacy! If you’ve made it this far, I thank you for taking the time to read and watch. If Tika’s story has touched you in any way, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
This was our experience with Degenerative Myelopathy, unique to Tika and our circumstances. There are plenty of resources and support groups out there with an abundance of useful information. I hope that Tika’s story reaches other pet parents who are experiencing similar challenges and ultimately helps improve and extend their beloved pet’s life.
***Please help spread this story to a wider audience, particularly to those with senior or disabled pets. You can share simply by pasting the link in a Facebook post or sending it out in an email.
Tika is the centre of my world, she is my everything. Having to say goodbye is going to be the most difficult time in my life. Please note that I will be taking the time and space I need to go through this very tender and emotional time. I will respond to comments and personal messages in due course.
**UPDATE: PART TWO of Tika’s Story can be found here.
I love everything about this ❤ I feel so connected to Tika.. she is so precious!! Thank you for sharing your story.. its definitely not easy, but I’m happy you did. I learned a lot about Tika’s disease, she is sooo lucky to have amazing parents to care and love her ❤ I will share your story on FB!
Ahhhh thanks Sou! She’s the best fur-daughter I could have ever asked for. We’ve had an incredibly enriched life together and the memories will be everlasting. The most tender days are ahead of me… one day at a time…
I had both goosebumps and tears reading Tika’s story. What an amazing being she is! AND – You and Doug are such amazing and loving souls to have dedicated your time and love to make Tika’s life a happy and full one! Thanks for sharing this – I’m sure that it will touch the hearts of all those reading as well as give comfort to others with companion animals going through health issues. Sending love and many hugs to you, Doug and Tika.
Yes, she is a very special being/soul indeed. I’m so grateful to have been her Mom, and to have had the opportunity to love, care and feel for another as much as I have. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read/watch our story.
I’m bawling my eyes out right this moment feeling so much appreciation that you take on the care of your beloved Tika, that you give her an incredible life. You’re doing an incredible job. xxoo
Thank you Beverley. It has been a very emotional time indeed. I’m so grateful for our 14.5 years together; the lessons i’ve learned, the love I got to experience, it has all been amazing. I’ve never known such a love could be possible. I will write about this and more in Part 2, when I am ready to face that story. My Tika Angel will always be with me, guiding the way for her Mommy (and Daddy!)
Very touching and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing with us. Well done Tawna. Tika would be proud.
JEFF$$
Thank you for taking the time to go through our story Jeff. It was a tough one to write, but it’s part of my grieving process and knowing that it may help others relieves some of the pain. I’d do anything for my girl.
Goosebumps… tears.. laughs.. the truth of it all! Having had this experience/s with DM and my 12 year old GSD it is cathartic reading this. Going to enjoy reading it again ❤️ Your journey and Tika’s is an awe inspiring one.
Sagree ( Momma of GSDs Hamlet, Xita, Quando, Faust and Eisen) South Africa 🇿🇦
It helps so much being connected with those who have been down this path also. Thank you for being there for me, and for reliving your own painful experiences by following ours. It is a very special love that I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to share and experience.
Beautifully written. I learned a lot from this and I cried. You are such a special soul, Tawna and Tika is so lucky to have you as Mom.
Thank you Raena. Tika was destined for Doug and I- we were the best parents/tag-team for her…. and I’m truly grateful for that. I’m so lucky that she came into our lives and got to share with us a kind of love that I would never have otherwise experienced.
I loved reading your story about Tika and your pictures are so great. It brought me to tears reading it. I also had a special dog with only 3 legs and he needed extra care at the end of his almost 17 year journey. I feel for you Tawna, it’s the hardest thing ever. You have created such beautiful keepsakes, I hope they bring you only the best memories. You are an awesome dog mom and an inspiration to us fellow pet lovers. Hugs to you and Tika
~Bonnie
Thank you for your very kind words Bonnie. Wow, a 17 year life?! That’s an amazing lifespan for a pup! The love goes a long way (in keeping them with us longer), doesn’t it?! LOVE is the BEST MEDICINE in the world. Tika has had two very very loving and devoted parents, and that surely has contributed to her longevity! Thank you again…. the days ahead are going to be tender beyond belief.
Beautifully done story. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this information and your story. I hope it helps someone who is or will one day go through something similar. There’s also some great tips on caring for a senior dog. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to write this all out and hope that it was therapeutic as well. Let me know if you need anything, I’m here for you.
I hope it helps someone too…there are many pets out whose lives could be improved, if their parents just had the right tools and information. It was excruciatingly difficult to write, you know how many months I’ve had this on my to-do list, working away at it bit by bit- and then the past couple of weeks it has consumed me. It was an important enough priority to get it done and out to the world…. Now… time for my girl. Thanks for being there Sam:)
Tawna, that is a heart-felt, beautiful tribute to your relationship with Tika and a valuable resource for pet owners. Your love shines through. What a blessing in disguise that Covid kept you close to home. And what a treasure to be able to devote so much time to her. Deep-felt hug to you across the miles.
Thank you Ann for taking the time to read/watch the story. Yes, it was a blessing in disguise for us. I’m truly grateful for all that has and hasn’t unfolded this year, as it was all meant to happen so I could be right here with my girl.
Congratulations Tawna, wonderful tribute to those who have given you so much love for the dedication with which you have had for years. Words are insufficient to express the amount of joy they bring us, they teach us unconditional love and the true meaning of friendship.
Thank you for your kind words Marcelo and especially for having read and watched the entire story and it’s not even in your mother tongue! Much appreciated for caring:)
My dear Tawna….such an amazing story and written so beautifully. Tika is so lucky to have you and Doug for her parents. She is living her best life and has also given so much love to you! 💞💞
I was searching for a story like yours. My 12 year old German Shepherd has been showing signs of DM for months now and this week he has become more weak in his hindlimbs. He needs a sling to get around now. I struggle with wanting him to stay with me and wondering what he would want me to do. After reading your story, I’m feeling more confident in my ability to ensure his happiness for as long as he wants me to. Your tips on care are very helpful. I am lucky enough to be able to take him to work with me and provide around the clock care for him. Thank you! 😊
Hi Jenny, I am so happy to hear that you found Tika’s story and that it is helping you and your boy! So long as his spirit is still lively, he is eating and all his other personality traits are continuing on as “normal”, then you’re just having to make adjustments to make him more comfortable with this disability. Fortunately DM doesn’t cause pain in the limbs, although other pain can develop as the disease progresses (in organs, and with pressure sores, etc).
I pray your boy never has to endure that kind of pain, and that you’re able to continue giving him all the love in the world to see him through until “it’s time.” Best wishes to you both. I hope to hear back from you in terms of how he’s doing! (PS- I don’t know if you’ll get the notification of my comment here, but I’d love to know how you came across Tika’s story:)
An emotionally/beautiful story⚘
Tawna, my heart feels so heavy after reading Tika’s story. The compassion and sincere love you both share is so special. I commend you on your strength to write this heartfelt story as I know how difficult it was for you. The photos and videos show that despite Tika’s disability she could still enjoy some outdoor play times with the assistance of her wheelchair. Your detailed info on her care and how to prepare for her next journey will surely inspire and educate others going through a similar situation. Despite the emotional time it was for you to document Tika’s life during her disability stages, I believe you have become a stronger person because of this (both in your heart and in your muscles!). Your dedication, commitment and love for Tika is truly commendable. Not many take the time to prepare for the inevitable. Often it just happens and then there is much more sorrow (remember Shelty). I am so proud of how open you have been in preparing yourself. When you write something down it becomes believable, more acceptable and can even be comforting. Having known Tika since she was a pup but not being able to see her now to give her one more hug, breaks my heart. I look forward to “howling” with her when we Skype real soon! I love how she knows who Grandma is! Tika is so blessed to have you as her human Mom. You and Doug have given her a wonderful life; so caring and so loving (it shines through in all your photos!). I know you and Doug have struggled over Tika’s next journey. You have made so many beautiful memories together which you will find a comfort in the future. Always remember the unconditional “love and joy” Tika gave you both over the last 14.5 years; this will keep her close in your hearts forever. I wish I could be there to give you a hug right now!
Thank you Mom. Yes, we have an incredible bond together, Tika and I (and her Daddy). I’m so grateful for the life we’ve had together, she has impacted/changed/transformed my life significantly, and this is part of her legacy. Tika has made me a stronger and healthier individual, she taught me the importance of commitment and dedication, love and priorities. So much. I will be writing about this in Part 2. I’m very happy that you had a last chance to have that beautiful talk with Tika on Skype, she was looking right at the computer screen, which isn’t usual! Those were such heartfelt words you said to her. I’m grateful for the entire experience we’ve had with our girl, with our final weeks leading up to the departure date, and especially the final days – they were so full of beautiful rich memories, that I will forever cherish. I’m able to close my eyes and transport myself back to the deck while we were doing her paw print crafts, or laying in the back of the car in the sun, watching the traffic go by, or our last visit to her (Frozen but melting) swimming spots, the ice creams and car rides, the banana pancakes, everything- it is all so memorable because I knew what was coming, and I was able to cherish those moments while they were happening and burn them in to my memory….My Tika Angel will always always remain connected and present with her Mommy and Daddy. Thank you for your love and support. xoxoxoxo
Very touching and a great legacy for Tika. It is sad to think that very few would do what you have done to add to the life of a pet. I guess they are really more than pets… they become part of the family.
Absolutely she was my dog daughter, so much more than a pet…. The word “pet” seems so minimal. Tika is my soul dog and we will always remain connected. Tika she has impacted my life significantly, she has left her legacy. I will write more about this in Part 2, when I’m ready.
Tawna, I just want to say I have walked your path and know exactly where you are and where you will be. I felt losing Reese to Diabetes and Cushing’s Disease was very unfair. I had cooked their meals mostly from when she was a pup. I only fed her “dog food” when we were traveling or time was scarce. Little did I know what all is put into generic dog food and it was the reason she had been poisoned very slowly. When I first got the news she was sick, I cooked every meal she ate. Stewed chicken with rice and some veggies; yogurt and cottage cheese was her diet. If we missed her cancer drugs or insulin by any small amount of time, there was hell to pay. For five years I was committed to this dog through thick and thin and my health was “going to the dogs” at the same time. But she was my everything. As diabetes took her sight, I made sure the house never had anything moved on the floor because her whiskers and nose were her eyes now. She still ran and played whenever she could but watching them slip away is one of the hardest things we will ever do in our lives. For me, It was the unconditional love she had given me for 12 years and had always loved me for me. Her medicines alone were $675.00 per month. I did without a lot of things to make sure she was taken care of. As time got closer, I realized in my situation, as she was not dying from the diseases but from the effects of the insulin and the cancer pill had on her body. The last night we were together I had to call off being at a silent auction for the Boys & Girls Club in our area due to my own health. My husband filled in for me. That night, Reese and I played, wrestled, hugged, and loved each other for well over five hours. As she came to lay down beside me, as she always did at night before she went to bed…I knew in my heart this was our last loving time together and that “bright light” they always speak of…had just come and gone. We slept together on the couch that night; her never moving. The next day was time for us to say goodbye and I was able to do it easier because I was able to have a say in the final moments. I knew she was ready to go and I wasn’t going to keep her back. She no longer recognized me or my husband so we said our goodbyes. When the angels came to get her, I was so relieved to know she was no longer hurting or blind and I could no longer be selfish in my own feelings. I slept for days feeling her love telling me not to worry and that she was at the Rainbow Bridge with her brothers. We would see each other again. I let go. I personally chose to have her cremated and her ashes are with me now. I have had many pets and still do but none have touched me as she did. I have chosen to be cremated when I pass from this life and it is my wish that her ashes are combined with mine and we will be placed in a tree pod to be planted so we return to the earth what it gave to us. I chose a “dogwood tree” as our tree and I am leaving it up to the administrator of my will to contact the National Park Services as to where we will be planted. Somewhere here in the southern U.S. I am sure. I only share my story to let you know that Tika will never leave you. Her transportation vehicle is going away but there will be times you will be out and about in Yellowknife and you will “feel” her with you and you will smile; her spirit running around your legs and looking for a stick. You will hear her bark; tell her just how much you love her too. And if you think about it at the time…tell her I said hello and to go find Reese at the bridge and the two of them go play together!
Laura, I got tears again reading this (again). Thank you for sharing your story and kind words. Tika’s presence in my life has changed me forever; I know she is my soul dog, ALWAYS connected by our strong love and bond. I am grateful for having been given some books on loss and grief back in August, to help prepare me…. and they have been a huge help! They helped me communicate with others, share my truth, and receive from others. I find that by sharing Tika’s story, this has resulted in so many new connections with people all over the world- touched by emotion and shared experiences. This is part of Tika’s legacy and it will surely continue. I know she has plans for me… and she will be with me every step of the way… cheering me on and guiding the way as she always has- at the gym, at pursuing my passion, at everything!
As I’ve mentioned in a previous response, I truly believe that I haven’t experienced a “loss.” Tika is always with me… this is just part of our relationship and journey together, while she’s not physically here, her spirit, love, energy, connection, bond- it is all still here. I am not “empty” and my heart is not “broken” but rather my heart is soooo overflowing with love… and if I can help other people during their grief journey or help them with their challenges with their pets, then I know that this is part of Tika’s doing also…. it is how I can honour her spirit, by sharing and helping others.
Thank you again Laura! I am sure Tika and Reese have met and are frolicking around with all of their other buddies (with big sticks and balls in their mouths)!
Tawna, you are truly an Angel. There are not many people that love the way you’ve expressed your love for Tika. The love bond between humans and fur babies is undeniable. Tika lived the best life because she had both her mommy and daddy by her side to see her through her time with pure love and dedication. ♥️
Thank you Rhonda. I’ve been blessed to have had all roll us as it has, with Covid, my year off, Doug being here to see things through and help in every possible way, and us being able to prepare for Tika’s ultimate departure. I don’t feel that this is a “loss” but rather an evolution in our relationship and journey together. We will always remain connected by our very strong love and bond.
I really debated reading Tikas story. My girl Dante looked alot like her. I lost Dante right after her 15th birthday during emergency surgery for bloat. It’s been 5 years now. 9 months later I lost my little corgi girl Lumbre. She made it through surgery but then went into cardiac arrest. I’m still not over my losses. Dante had wheels too. But not DM. She had arthritis in her back knees. But the cart gave her freedom and independence back. Like Tika, she went everywhere in her wheels. I’m a cross country truck driver. So along with Dante. There was Lumbre, Oso and Poe (corgis) and Alexis (GSD) all in the truck with me. Along with Dantes wheelchair. But we managed. Dante had over a million miles under her collar and had swam in both oceans. She got her paws on the Appalachian trail and the Continental Divide Trail. I have a little handmade GSD stuffy, stuffed with her fur. So it had the honor of being on the Pacific Crest Trail for Dante. Thank both of being great parents to Tika and never giving up on her. My one regret in life is I wasn’t able to hold my girls when they went to the Rainbow Bridge. I feel I let them down. I sit here crying. If I didn’t have my dogs, Oso, Alexis, Poe, Z and Senshi. I probably wouldn’t be here. They’re what jeeps me going. And we’re still traveling all over the country. Not many people get to live with their dogs 24/7. So I consider myself so very lucky. Thank you for listening to me ♥️
Thank you Peggy for taking the time to read Tika’s story and going through with it, knowing that it was going to bring about a lot of emotion. You’ve experienced such devastating loss. And I imagine that is very hard to work through and live with. I’ve been reading a lot about grief and loss before Tika’s passing, and this helped me tremendously. I realize how “fortunate” we were because we knew when Tika’s departure date was, and we were able to cherish every moment together, having created special memories during our final days. I know a lot of people aren’t so “lucky” (it doesn’t feel right using that word!)…. and I’m so very sorry you had such sudden losses. I shared an article below that may bring some comfort to you.
What a wonderful history together with your pups, driving around the country! Do you all sleep together in your cabin? That sounds like it could be a movie:) I’ve been living with Tika 24/7 for the past year or so…. with a short stint going back to work in June-October for a few days a week- but between her Dad and myself, we were always with her for over the past year. very fortunate and grateful for this. And you are one of the lucky ones too!
I truly believe that we didn’t “lose” our pups… Love is forever, and it transcends death. Our relationship doesn’t end just because they are no longer physically present. We will always always remain connected. We need to tap into that love and channel it to our pups and they will respond. Being mindful of this ever-present love and bond, continuing to include them in our lives (albeit differently), and knowing they are right there at your side, continuing to guide the way for you…. this makes the overall grief journey lighter, and you learn to live in a new way together (not apart).
It has just been over 1 week (May 28, 2021) since my Tika Angel crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and I’m very surprised with this awakening i’ve had, and how I’m processing things. Reading about grief and connecting with so many others who have shared similar experiences – these have played a big part in my grief journey.
I don’t feel “heartbroken,” I don’t feel any searing pain, but instead I feel that my heart is overflowing with love, and yes, it is a very tender and sad time… but we are figuring this out… one moment at a time, how to weave together a new way of communicating/connecting/being. Here is an article I just came across as i was writing to you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/no-one-has-be-alone/201207/death-does-not-end-relationship
I don’t know if you follow instagram (@tcblivingmylife) or facebook, but I continue to post Tika’s story on those platforms. I am using the hashtag #tikatribute on both instagram and fb posts so people can easily find us…. Here is my latest video that I shared a couple of days ago, which was of our final morning together; it’s very beautiful. When I am ready, I will write Part 2 here on my blog. Our Final Morning: https://youtu.be/r4eLwgJSAH4
I wish you a safe and happy journey with all your pups. They are God’s Angels that are on loan to us for a short time…. And one day, we will all be together again. Best wishes Peggy!
Beautifully written, Tika’s story is so inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. Your commitment to her is really amazing. I cried a bit by the time I finished part one of your story. Tika knows how loved she is. Wish you love and strength during this heartbreaking time. Thank you for sharing Tikas life with us.
We will meet our beloved fur babies again. I know it ♥️
Thank you for sharing Tika’s story! The purest unconditional love. I am so truly sorry to learn of Tika’s passing! Her story will help and inspire in my Sugar’s journey. This is her second year with DM and she has just now reached the point of needing wheels. Some days are better than others and she can get by without the wheels but those days are becoming less and less. Sugar’s vet says her young age has actually been a positive thing in her battle with this, as she’s 6 and will turn 7 in October. Again, THANK YOU for sharing and God bless you!
Thank you Paula for taking the time to leave a comment, and I’m so pleased to know that Tika’s story can help you and your Sugar. Tika had difficulties from November-May in her wheelchair, things became much more challenging for her to be stand on her front legs without having to let herself fall to the ground. I tried many many adjustments, and nothing worked. This was heartbreaking for us. Our walks turned into 4-5 min walks with some struggle, and we only did them towards the end so Tika could hold her stick (and we thought she might like the bit of exercise, but not sure it was comfortable anymore). But for most of the 2 years that she had the wheelchair, it was such a blessing! To see her being able to walk around on snow, sand, rock, water…. it was awesome! The wheelchair really was a game changer for the most part! When I’m ready, I will write part 2 to this story; it’s going to be tough to face it, but it needs to be shared, and it’s part of Tika’s legacy! If you ever have any questions, please feel free to get in touch. Sending lots of love to you and Sugar.
Thank you Mona for feeling our love and bond. She is a very special soul and I know she is with me always. I will continue to share her story and spirit with all!
Dear Tawna Thank you so much for sharing Tika’s story. As a mother of an 8.5 yo Shep my heart goes out to you in the days ahead. I send you lots of love and strength from England xx
Thank you very much Victoria for your kind words and for reading Tika’s story. When I’m ready, I will be writing a Part 2 to Tika’s story and our journey. Tika remains with me in my heart and by sharing her spirit with the world, I feel I’m expanding her presence.
My heart goes out to you, as I am facing 2 challenges this year…one, our 9+ year old Great Dane was diagnosed with cancer April 9th (and given 2 weeks to 2 months life expectancy) and two, our other Great Dane, both rescues, turns 12 this month (with a life expectancy of 8-10) but you’re so right, there are no “accidents” with his fecal incontinence ….it’s never his fault! He suffers from both kidney disease and degenerative arthritis so every day is considered a blessing, but I agree, it’s a lot emotionally to deal with! thanks for sharing your story….I cried for your loss!
Lori, You sure do have your hands and heart very full, having to care for two (big) older dogs who are both going through such challenges. We do all that we can, give them the best quality of life, and so long as their spirit is “alive” and overall health is still relatively good (i.e. not in pain or any suffering), then we can continue giving them everything.
It’s such a very very fine line/balance….having to get to the point where your decisions are in the best interests of the animal, and not our own (i.e. we want to keep them around forever, regardless of what we have to endure…. but what we have to think about them…what are they enduring? They will hang on and on for us, because that’s what they do. So long as they have the ability, they won’t give up. And as Tika was struggling more, we knew things were going to get worse…. And we were faced with having to make that very very difficult decision, where it was time to put our own interests and desires aside, and put Tika above all else.
It was the hardest decision to make, but having the opportunity to make that decision (which many people don’t because of sudden illnesses/accidents), and making it BEFORE Tika had an injury or before the disease progressed even further….it really was the best thing we could have done for our baby girl. We can live with no regrets for having hung on to her for too long (for our own sake), and she wasn’t in any pain or suffering (other than the overall struggles she had with the paralysis).
We made the ultimate surrender and now she is God’s hands, surrounded by Angels and friends, completely free from any and all struggles in life. We remain connected forever and will surely be together again. Sending love and prayers to you and your Great Danes.
Thank you for your loving story, I just sent my 14 year old boy over the bridge too. He had DM for several yeas as well, and after 9 years in Search and Rescue it hurt my heart to see him become so frail. He was always the first one to the front door when the pack came out and never wanted to miss an adventure. I spread his ashes at the edge of a lake in the Sierra Nevada Mtns. Where we hiked and searched for many years. I’m now training my young shepherd for search…….her name is Tika.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story. DM is heart-wrenching. It touches my heart to see others who stand by their furbabies, regardless of the situation, and give them the best quality of life that they can. We learn so much from them. I’m sure out Tikas are out romping around together, along with all the other angels up there. They are always watching over us.
Thank you for sharing this story. It is nice to know we are not alone in this. We, too have an older girl, a Siberian Husky/German Shepherd Mix who might have this issue. Her vet said she doesn’t, but she went through all the same steps Tika did before losing complete mobility in her hind legs. Her bright eyes and zest for life keep us going. Condolences for Tika’s passing. She was a beautiful girl. Thanks again for sharing this. We really needed to see this now.
I’m sorry to hear your girl is coming experiencing similar challenges (and you as well, as I know it’s not easy). Regardless of what the diagnosis is, a harness and sling can be very helpful to have on hand, it is likely they will be needed as time passes. And the wheelchair will give your pup a new lease on life (if the mobility gets that bad). Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about what you’re going through. I do plan to write part 2 of Tika’s story. Best wishes to you and your furbaby.
Thanks so much, Tawna for your reply and offer of information for the future. Right now, we’re all set with sling, hock braces, botties, and we’re working on making our girl, Cheyenne a wheel chair/ chariot for her. We also take her swimming every other day for exercise mixed in with chariot rides (wheel barrow) every other day to keep her alert and give her a change of scenery just like you did for Tika. Do you have any video references for how to express our dogs bladder and bowels we can refer to? There are so many online, but not sure which one is reliable.
Thanks again for taking such good care of your Tika and for recording your experience down here. You are an inspiration for others such as us right now. Sadly, our experience with our girl, Cheyenne losing mobility in her rear legs isn’t a first for us. She’s our fourth dog who has experienced this all for different reasons. It’s so sad we can send shuttles into space but can’t cure DM and other related issues. I am looking forward to part 2 of Tika’s story.
Take care. Stay safe. Regards,
Doctor SJ Francis, I haven’t looked around for videos on how to express bladder or bowel movements, but I have included my own video within my blog post (this one). There is a video that shows how we get Tika into the chair and how we express her bladder… about half way down the blog post.
The bowel movements we just let happen… we kind of knew when they would happen, and always, always watching her tail, as it would twitch a bit when it was about to happen. Also we put disposable mats under her bottom wherever we laid her (and we move her all the time, whenever we move to another room, we bring her with us, lay her in the kitchen, on the couch, in the bedroom/on bed- where she will always see us/be with us.
I can’t remember Tika having any normal bowel movements for the last 1.5-2 years, it most often happened while we’re walking her in/out of house and to/from vehicle, sometimes in the vehicle- just when we’re lifting her! LOL. She can’t help it. There is no muscle control. So we never got mad at her, didn’t want her to feel bad about any of it. Instead we cheered her and said good girl!! Always cleaned her up really well after each bathroom break (#1 and #2)- since she cannot clean herself. And were very very careful with giving her anything different in her food. (which was rare). Had to stop giving her meat bones, to avoid the runs, etc. (Plus some of her teeth were worn down quite a bit, so it wasn’t good to give meat bones for chewing anyway). But we still gave her all kinds of healthy treats.
I hope this helps! I’m on a big solo road trip (3 weeks so far!), and haven’t had any downtime yet. I can’t even turn my attention to all of my travel stories until I write Tika’s part 2! I feel like that should be my personal priority. Wishing all the best for Cheyenne and your family. Please keep in touch!
Dear Tawna, I’ve said before that you are a good woman. That’s not true anymore. You are a wonderful human being. You care a lot about people and our four legged friends. The day you and Tika’s paths crossed must have been a magical moment. God already knew what was going to happen. I’m sorry to make you cry all over again, but I just didn’t want you to think that I forgot or didn’t care. I truly didn’t know you and Doug had made a decision and the day had come to pass. And I really didn’t know how hard it had been for you this past 2.5 years until I read your story. You have a great soul and heart and strength. Tika was a special being. I got to know her through your eyes, from the time she was a puppy to now. The love between you two was always center stage. As you said, you didn’t loose a dog. You gained a companion for when Doug was away, and now an angel you can talk to. Your precious moments will live forever and she will always be with you in spirit, protecting you and barking at strangers. Tawna, I’m grateful you shared her life with us. I’m not a tear jerker. I’m tearing up myself. Be strong my friend! And please say hi to Doug.
Oh Abbas, these are such thoughtful and heartfelt words! So very very touching. And it made me giggle when I imagined Tika barking at strangers. She was always a vocal girl, and I loved that about her! (intimidating to many, but i knew she has a kind spirit and would never hurt a good person!) Tomorrow is 19 weeks since my Angel’s departure! I cannot believe how time has flown right by. I am comforted in feeling and knowing that Tika’s spirit and love are with me always! Thank you again for your kind words and for caring about us. Doug says hi back to you also:) Take care Abbas!
Thanks again, Tawna for opening your heart to us about Tika. We are in our second month of taking chare of our senior girl, Cheyenne and are wearing down from the constant 24/7, but we’ve promised her that as long as she continues onward and isn’t in pain, we’ll continue to move onward with her. She keeps us going so we can keep going for her. Your story helps us continue and maintain our strength for our Cheyenne. Thank you again, so much. And keep your memories of Tika close to your heart.
Again, I’m so pleased to hear of your compassion and commitment you have for your Cheyenne. I know it’s exhausting, and I know you will keep doing it as long as have the strength and energy to keep going… I will be writing part 2 of Tika’s story soon, and part of it will cover the very difficult subject of how we made the decision. Just remember, even if Cheyenne is “doing fine,” there will come a point when you have to really consider whether she really is “doing fine” because she’s doing what dogs do – they aim to please…and as time goes on, she’s possibly sticking around for you…
Tika was “doing fine” also on her last day, no better or worse than 3 weeks prior when we made the decision to set a date. I will write more about this in the story, but I wanted to share with you now. A time will come when you know you must put Cheyenne above all else, decide what’s truly best for her…, and that’s the most difficult decision to make (when she’s not displaying any discomfort or pain)… it’s a very very fine line. This brings me to tears writing this, because we had to make that decision, and it was like no other decision I ever had to make in life. But this allowed us to give Tika the best final weeks together with us, the best departure possible, at peace and no pain. It was a decision of pure unconditional love, and it hurt so much because we loved so much. I pray you still have much time remaining together with your girl. Please give your Cheyenne some extra cuddles from me across the miles! (I have been in Italy since October 19!)
This is amazing Tawna! It is incredible to think you added two years to your dear Tika’s life. You sure put in a lot of work but I know it was all done with love. Thanks for letting people know about these options for pets in their late years! We had one of our doggies live to be 16.5 and we saw her well into her old lady days. We tried to keep her alive as long as we could. Your story is very inspirational to pet owners! ❤️
Thank you Pam! Wow! 16.5 years is amazing! SO many precious memories to cherish! I do hope that this part of Tika’s story does demonstrate to people how a disability does not need to be a death sentence for a dog…. With proper care and attention, your pet can still live a happy and healthy life. We had an additional 2.5 amazing years together, and those were so enriching! During those years (and even after Tika’s departure), I learned so many valuable life lessons that I will always carry with me. Tika is a great teacher! And through her story, she will continue to help others:)
My dog who a Boxer mix named Coco has had degenerative myelopathy for 2 years now. He was diagnosed in February of 2020 when he was 9 years old he will be 12 years old in August of this year. I love him so much.
Hi Serene, thank you for stopping by at Tika’s story and signing her “guestbook”! I imagine you’re doing well with Coco, (in terms of navigating DM), seeing as he has had DM for 2 years now. They sure do hold a very central and large portion of our heart! I think that by caring for a pet with such a disease, your love and bond grows so much stronger, and they know that you will take care of them even as their mobility diminishes and other things begin to fail (incontinence)… and they love you so much for this. It has been an enriching and life changing experience. May all of your remaining time together be filled with happy experiences that will turn into cherished memories.
My goodness…I was meant to find this beautiful, beautiful story today, Tawna.
My beloved, effervescent, very-active father passed away in 2008 after two gruelling years of battling ALS. I cared for him at home, as he needed full care and was completely dependent while my mother battled an Alzheimer’s diagnosis simultaneously.
When Dad passed in January 2008, I went and got my sweet Scottish Terrier, Lucas! Lucas has been with me through thick and thin and right by my side while I cared for Mom for the next 13 years as Alzheimer’s slowly robbed this wonderful, loving woman of her faculties, mobility, speech and cognition and she became completely & totally dependent.
Mom slipped away last October, and Lucas was right by my side for that too. He started showing signs of “slowing down” physically the last year or so and has been battling an oral melanoma diagnosis and several surgeries to remove the growth masses, and now it’s become quite clear that Lucas has DM. He too has become completely and totally dependent.
So now it seems I am caring for yet another cherished loved one while I watch them slowly be taken away. Your story of Tika resonates so perfectly with mine. I would do anything for this little dog. At the moment, it may be a race between the cancer and DM as to which one will do him in first. So far, he seems comfortable and his appetite is just as voracious as ever, but I’m tortured every time I am invited out or have an event to attend. I can’t leave him alone. I also tried the Walkin Pets Walkin Wheels wheelchair, but Lucas refused to use it. I was so disappointed. I thought he would have his life back, but he wouldn’t budge no matter what I did.
I don’t know at which point to make the decision to do the unthinkable. He is not incontinent yet and can still hobble outside to do his business and come back in. I just don’t know what to do because I don’t want to see him deteriorate. I bought him a beautiful stroller and we go on long walks daily. Much like you, I have no children and am single, and Lucas is my whole heart and whole world!
It gave me such comfort to read your story. I wept so many times reading it, and I so admire your courage and commitment to your sweet girl. Thank you for sharing your story, Tawna. You made me feel so much less alone.
Thank you!
Kim xo
What a beautiful story Kim, thank you for sharing. (How did you come across Tika’s story??) You are clearly a very compassionate and loving human being. It takes a certain kind of soul to be able to endure you have. I know it is draining at times, and you may feel spent; yet you continue to give your everything, because that’s what unconditional love is…and it fills you right back up!
My experience with Tika has been life-changing. My view on “loss” and grief is very different from most, and I feel this prepares me for other “departures” that will inevitably come my way. While I am not ready to bring another dog into my life, I am enjoying dog walking at the shelter, and I’ve done some international petsitting (Tuscany in October and currently in New York City!) It has been such a beautiful experience to be able to care for another pet, while I’m still trying to figure things out and find my way. I’m sure Tika has had a hand (or paw!) in orchestrating these opportunities, so that her Mom gets some good “therapy”.
It sounds like Lucas is still doing relatively well- with the stroller you have now, this gets him out and about. And that’s really important, as he needs to have continued stimuli of the outside world, and enjoyment of fresh air and all the smells! Do you have a vehicle? If so, I imagine he loves going for drives also.
Sounds like Lucas is a fighter.. having to battle both cancer and DM! Continue giving him all the love in the world, keep talking to him and monitoring any changes in behaviour and overall mood. Cherish every moment you have, and tell him all that you want to tell him. He knows you’re the best Mom, he knows you love him to the moon and back. And he wants you to know that when the time comes for him to cross that Rainbow Bridge, his spirit and love will remain with you forever and always, and your relationship will therefore never end. Sending love and strength to both of you. Thank you Kim for taking the time to read our story and share yours.
Tawna and Tika (in spirit)
Tawna, I’m struggling to read your beautiful words through tears. Thank you for all that you’ve said. I finally feel like someone truly understands how I feel and what I’m dealing with with my precious Lucas.
I will indeed tell him everything I want to tell him. That line you wrote really brought me to tears for some reason.
I found yours and Tika’s story because I was searching for some guidance on how to deal with this transitional period without feeling like my heart is being ripped out daily. I wanted to hear from others how they decided what to do and when to do it. I think the message I’ve gotten from your story with Tika is that Lucas will tell me. I’ve asked him in our quiet hours to tell me. I’ve whispered that to him many times. Just tell me what to do and tell me when to do it.
I have also thought to myself that I will never “do this to myself again” and get another dog. I feel like I will never recover from the loss of Lucas. Hearing your approach to coping gives me hope. Maybe I will do dog sitting too or foster rescue dogs waiting for adoption or even dog walking to help me heal. I ran into a lady on a walk who lost her beloved fur baby five gears ago and still hasn’t felt “ready” but dogsits regularly and that gives her her “fill”
I can’t tell you how much your words have comforted me, Tawna. I’m truly so grateful to have found your blog, and I know it wasn’t by accident. Thank you to you and gorgeous Tika
Love, Kim & Lucas
I’m so glad to know that we’ve been able to help you and Lucas. I know how you feel, about not having people around you who know what you’re going through. That was my situation also. Somehow I just made my way through and I ended up having a beautiful experience with my grief journey (and still am). I’ve grown so much because of it, I’m stronger, I’m more aligned with spirit and love, I understand life/death in a very different way than most. I’m learning from this experience and from Tika everyday, and it is my hope that I can share this with others so that they see that grief does not have to be dark, painful and heavy.
By being able to “prepare” for the departure, you are given such an opportunity that many others unfortunately don’t have. And by being able to tell Lucas everything you ever wanted to tell him, thank him for all that he has brought to your life, and ask him to give you messages/signs after he has crossed the bridge…. it will put you at such peace to be able to do this. I talked to Tika ALL THE TIME…. (still do!), and she’d talk right back to me, with her very communicative and soulful eyes and her beautiful voice. I loved those conversations! It brings me to tears writing this, remembering that special connection we had. Things are becoming more tender for me as I’m approaching those very tender 3 final weeks we had together, during which we had the most enriching moments together (which I captured in all those videos and photos!)
Re. knowing when it is time…. Tika didn’t tell me. We had to make that decision. I don’t think dogs always tell you, because they love you so much and they don’t want to give up or let you down. So as painful as it was, we relieved Tika from having to make that decision, because we loved her so much. I just wanted to share that with you, because it’s hard to know if Lucas will tell you…Maybe you’ll see that he just won’t give up for your sake, and perhaps he’s struggling a lot and you can see that he is so tired. It doesn’t sound like he’s there now, but watch for it in the months (or years) to come. He might be reluctant to show you, and he’ll still put on a smile and bright eyes, again, for your sake. And that’s when you really need to clearly think about what’s best for him. There’s nothing easy about it… but the best thing you can do is think about these things and have an idea of what you’ll be looking for as a sign that it’s time. By being aware, this helps you to be more prepared overall.
My recent petsit in NYC was absolutely amazing! It was great therapy for me, and I was able to give such love to Blue (and her to me in return). I highly recommend petsitting (and combining with travel!), and volunteer dog walking at the shelter- this will bring you such joy, and Lucas’s spirit will be so happy for you. He wants you to share your love with others, it’s your gift to give, not to keep locked inside. Keep it going and flowing, and your life will become so enriched as a result. I promise you!
Big hugs to you both:)
Your uplifting words are such a comfort to me, Tawna. I truly appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion, experience and words of empathy and compassion.
Only people with dogs truly understand this kind of pain. You’ve been so helpful to me, and you’ve made me feel better about the situation and the days leading up to and after I have to say goodbye to my sweet boy.
Thank you for sharing yours and Tika’s story. I’m positive it has helped many others to cope and unravel all these emotions as much as it’s helped me.
Hugs,
Kim & Lucas
Thank you so much for writing your story. My 10, nearly 11 year old shepherd is going through degenerative myelopathy now, into month 11 post diagnoses. He is still walking, but the disease is progressing. Much of what you said is so true, this is a very difficult disease to go through with your fur baby, particularly because nothing else is wrong and they are so aware. I’m not looking forward to the next stages of this disease, but at the same time I am closer to my pup than ever because of the care and attention he needs. If there is any advice I could give to others it is to keep them as active as possible for as long as possible.
Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Judith. Speaking for myself, going through this kind of experience provides many of life’s greatest lessons. As painful as it is, this disease gave me an opportunity to truly experience unconditional love (giving and receiving). And it has shown me how to grieve in a very healthy way, how to connect with my undying love, how to share it and continue to receive it. This disease will have a profound effect on you, and the lessons learned will help guide you forward in life. You will learn the depth of love, you will learn the meaning of surrender, and you will carry this love with you forever and always. My experience with Tika and DM was enriching and life-changing and I am forever grateful for what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown because of it. This is part of Tika’s legacy. I’m a better person because of her and what we’ve shared. I am certain you will have a similar experience. Your fur baby knows you’re doing everything for them, and when it’s time, if it’s your choice, you can be there to give them the most beautiful sendoff. Sending love and strength to you and your pup.
Best wishes, Tawna, Angel Tika and Hiccup (adopted Sept 9/22) PS. Here is Hiccup’s adoption announcement: https://youtu.be/4aMwbOtvgPI